My Parenting Journey Inspired This 3 C’s Framework for Managing Employee Growth

Discover how to adapt your leadership from Captain to Coach to Counselor, fostering a thriving, self-sufficient team.

NOTE: This article was initially published on Reworked.co on August 26, 2024, and is republished here with permission.

Source: Alena Darmel via Pexels

Reflecting on a Major Milestone

This past week marked a significant moment in my life as a parent. I was busy moving my twin daughters to their respective universities for their first year of college—one at the University of Arizona and the other at San Diego State University. The experience was a whirlwind, hopping on a plane right after helping one daughter settle in Tucson, then making my way to San Diego to do the same for the other.

While exhausting, this process was more than just a logistical challenge; it was a profound emotional experience. Standing in their dorm rooms, surrounded by boxes and the remnants of childhood memories, I realized that this wasn't just a physical move. It was a transition for me, as well, from being the Coach who provides a set of plays and instructions to becoming the Counselor who offers advice and support without direct intervention. This was a moment when my role as a parent had to shift to suit their newfound independence and maturity.

A Parallel in the Workplace

This reflection got me thinking about the similarities between parenting and managing employees. Just as my daughters are transitioning from a phase where they needed coaching to a phase where they'll benefit more from counsel and mentorship, employees go through similar stages in their professional journey. Whether it's due to lack of experience, adjusting to a new role, or the desire to become more self-sufficient, employees often need different types of support and leadership.

This realization inspired me to apply the same 3 C's model I use in parenting—Captain, Coach, and Counselor—to managing employees. By understanding where an employee is in their development and adapting our management style accordingly, we can better support their growth and success.

In parenting, the 3 C's—Captain, Coach, and Counselor—represent the evolving roles we take on as our children grow. Early on, we act as the Captain of a ship, giving clear instructions and setting strict boundaries to steer them safely through life's challenges. As they mature, our role transitions to that of a Coach, much like coaching a team, where we provide a set of plays and strategies, but allow them the freedom to execute and make their own decisions. Eventually, as they reach adulthood, we shift to being a Counselor, offering support and advice while trusting them to navigate their own course.

Actively Comparing the Parenting and Management Models

The 3 C's Model for Employee Management

Reflecting on how the 3 C's have guided my parenting journey, I've realized these same principles can be incredibly valuable in managing employees. The key is to recognize that each employee is on their own unique developmental path, much like our children. As a manager, it’s crucial to understand where each person is—not only in terms of their career stage but also in their understanding of their roles, responsibilities, and aspirations. By adapting your management style to meet employees where they are, you can effectively support their growth and help them reach their full potential.

1. Captain Phase: Direct Management and Instruction

Parallels with Parenting:
Just like a parent acts as a Captain in the early stages of a child's development, managers should adopt a Captain role when dealing with new employees or those inexperienced in their role. In this phase, employees need clear instructions, direct supervision, and structured guidance. This is especially true for:

• New Hires: They are unfamiliar with the company culture, processes, and expectations.
• Employees New to a Role or Project: Even experienced employees may need explicit guidance when they are stepping into new roles or tackling unfamiliar projects.
• Younger, Inexperienced Employees: Those who are new to the workforce need more direction and clarity to develop foundational skills.

Management Approach:

• Be Direct: Provide explicit instructions and guidelines. Set clear expectations and define objectives.
• Structure and Monitoring: Regular check-ins to ensure tasks are understood and being carried out correctly.
• Training and Resources: Offer necessary training and resources to develop essential skills and knowledge.

Key Focus: Building trust, establishing a clear understanding of expectations, and ensuring tasks are completed correctly and efficiently.

2. Coach Phase: Guidance and Encouragement

Parallels with Parenting:
In the Coach phase, like in parenting, the manager shifts from being a directive Captain to a supportive Coach. Employees in this stage have a basic understanding of their role but need guidance on how to execute tasks effectively and optimize their performance. This phase is ideal for:

• Employees with Some Experience: Those who understand their job but still need guidance in certain areas.
• Employees Taking on New Challenges: As employees take on new responsibilities or projects, coaching provides the support needed to navigate these challenges.
• Developing Leaders: Employees who show potential for leadership roles benefit from coaching to hone their decision-making and strategic thinking skills.

Management Approach:

• Provide Guidance, Not Orders: Offer advice, share best practices, and encourage employees to think through problems.
• Empower Decision-Making: Encourage employees to make decisions while providing a safety net for mistakes.
• Regular Feedback: Offer constructive feedback to help employees grow and improve.

Key Focus: Empowering employees to develop their own problem-solving skills, encouraging autonomy, and fostering confidence in their abilities.

3. Counselor Phase: Support and Mentorship

Parallels with Parenting:
As a Counselor, the manager becomes more of a mentor, much like parents who transition to being a counselor for their grown-up children. This phase is appropriate for employees who have gained significant experience and competence in their roles. They are largely self-sufficient but still benefit from the availability of counsel and mentorship. This is best suited for:

• Experienced Employees: Individuals who have demonstrated the ability to manage their workload effectively with minimal supervision.
• Senior Staff and Leaders: Employees in leadership roles who need a sounding board for strategic ideas or decisions.
• High Performers: Those who are capable and motivated, seeking personal and professional growth opportunities.

Management Approach:

• Act as a Resource: Be available to offer advice, perspective, and support when needed.
• Encourage Self-Reflection: Help employees reflect on their own experiences and decisions to foster growth.
• Facilitate Growth: Provide opportunities for development, encourage continuous learning, and support career advancement.

Key Focus: Supporting employees’ long-term development, providing mentorship for leadership growth, and encouraging independent problem-solving and innovation.

And They’re Off...

As I left my daughters at their respective universities, I felt a mix of pride, excitement, and a little bit of apprehension. I knew they were ready to navigate their new worlds, equipped with the guidance and support my wife and I had given them over the years. This experience reinforced what I’ve learned about leadership both as a parent and a manager: the goal is not just to direct or teach but to prepare those we care for to become confident, self-reliant individuals. Whether it's our children heading off to college or our employees stepping into new roles, the ultimate measure of our success is their ability to thrive independently.

The core message I want you to remember is this: By adapting your leadership style to meet people where they are—be it as a Captain, a Coach, or a Counselor—you empower them to grow, succeed, and eventually lead themselves.

So, as you guide your team, think about the role you need to play in their journey today. Are you steering them with a firm hand, offering strategic plays, or standing back as a trusted advisor? The most effective leaders are those who can transition seamlessly between these roles, just as parents do, fostering a culture of growth, trust, and independence.

Just as I’ve learned to embrace these phases in parenting, I encourage you to reflect on how you can apply them in your professional relationships. The more we see ourselves as adaptable guides rather than rigid authorities, the more successful and fulfilled both our teams and we will become.